The first entry is the most recent. Below that, the entrees are in chronological order starting at the beginning of the month.
Friday, March 29, 2002
We played University of Northern Colorado yesterday. We won 28-3. Of course everyone played. Like the weather, our schedule seems to be one extreme or the other. When I made the schedule months and months ago I firstly was not happy with it, and then I wondered if it would be stimulating or challenging enough in the early part.. All I can say now is, "what the hell was I thinking?" And now, as I always knew, we begin phase 2, if you will, where games are not only challenging but constant, piled one on top of the other, and with grueling road trips looming on the horizon. A lot more than just our "game" will be tested in the weeks to come.
We had one of the best practices of the season today. I made a speech that motivated me, and I hope it got them a little excited as well. The central theme was passion. I got involved with the drills a lot this afternoon. We are doing a lot more drills this week, and a lot less scrimmaging. Everyone is working at becoming a better team. We are also working on having fun, and overcoming the disappointment of not fulfilling some of our early season expectations. We have about 6 weeks of season in front of us, six weeks full of promise and better weather. We still have much catching up to do, but maybe now we can create some lacrosse music, or at least compose a "catchy tune".
Tomorrow we will play against perhaps our toughest opponent of the season in Division III Colorado College, and we will use a goalie that has never played in a game like this. Somehow I am calmer going into this than I was last week for BYU. Everything is new again for me. We are not the big bad team, the one that everyone fears anymore. We are searching for a new identity. When we play with true heart, it will find us.
I have been moving people around like chess pieces all week, changing positions, searching for magic, or at least versatility. It was a good sign that everyone was receptive to changes, or at least the thought of change.
Actually, I am looking for "consistency, accuracy, dependability, and durability" (Rock-it Pocket mantra).
Wednesday, March 27, 2002
I watched the BYU tape a couple of times last night, and the thing that struck me was that we really didn’t play as badly as I thought we did. Our overall team play was pretty good. We had some breakdowns to be sure, and we ran out of gas in the fourth, which is hardly surprising when you look at how the season has transpired, but I didn’t cringe that much at all as I watched. We actually controlled a lot of the game. I kept thinking, how did we lose by 7 goals? I really expected to see other negative things that I did not see. We have a lot of people who are not playing as well as they can, but I am hopeful about where we can go from here.
In a way this season feels like I am getting paid back for all the good fortune that has come our way in the last few years, because we are in a "what can go wrong will go wrong" phase. This will pass. I know it will. The question is when? Having our #1 goalie down changes things quite a bit for our defense, but we will just try hard to overcome this as well as all our little problems. They say that which does not kill you makes you stronger. If that is true then we will be the Charles Atlas of lacrosse teams soon.
Tomorrow we play UNC at home.
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SOMETIMES I CRACK MYSELF UP,
AND SOMETIMES I’M JUST CRACKED UP
Tuesday, 2/26/02
2:45 pm
I come to the conclusion that I can sit still and take the body blows that Mother Nature was
pummeling us with for not one more minute. I had been philosophical about the weather,
accommodating to the snow, making adjustments for the cold, and, in short, just trying to get
along with Her. I could no longer, at 2:45 on February 27, 2002, be passive, or even
reactive. The time had come to take action and be pro active. I threw shovels in truck and
began to drive toward the practice field, cell phone and phone list in hand, pumped to lead
the charge that would alter the course of history by shoveling off the practice field so we can
play UNC (Greeley) there tomorrow. The game field was out of the question, but nobody
seems to care what we do on or to our little practice field. It is an afterthought field, dirt
thrown on top of the CSU sewer system, scheduled for renovation in the summer of 2002.
"I’ll bring in a dozer if I have to," I thought.
3:15 pm
Pick up assistant coach Jason, the snow shovel wizard (from NY), and he is packing one
more shovel for the cause, too. He had been my first call. I knew that without him that this
was mission impossible, even if he does occasionally wear ski goggles to warm up the
goalies.
3:25 pm
We arrive at practice field where a small crowd was already gathering, and some were
dragging snow off the field "CSU style", with goals turned upside down, pulled back end
first, primarily by one of our 250 lb. + Plow horses leading the charge. None of the people
that tend to get their names placed on other more glamorous parts of the web site were there.
This was strictly "dawg" stuff. In fact, when I started frantically calling people, I
deliberately didn’t call some. Prima Donna’s are pretty much useless in these kinds of
"critical situations".
3:30 pm
Give motivational snow removal speech and we begin to work.
3:40 pm
As our numbers grow, I decide that I could be most help by going to get more snow shovels
3:50 pm
Leave Ace Hardware with $58.74 worth of snow shovels and $30 worth of trash cans for
hauling
5:30 pm
The sun is gone, and we are all freezing our butts off. Enough for today. I am wearing
more than I wear when I go skiing. Almost half the field is cleared, but it still seems like a
monster task ahead. It is cool to watch them tackle a whole different kind of problem as a
group. We are elevating the "art" of primitive snow removal techniques. I’m so proud.
7:15 pm
I arrive for the 7:00 indoor practice, mostly made up of those "other guys" I was talking
about, the ones that had NOT been shoveling snow two hours earlier.
9:00 pm
Wrap up a very productive indoor practice, and I don’t care what they accuse me of, but we
did not break any windows. There were some that were already broken, and we will be
blamed for it, I have no doubt (see, I am paranoid). It couldn’t be us anyway. Our balls
make lacrosse ball sized holes in the panes of glass in the old field house, and these breaks
looked more like somebody threw a boot or something through it. Maybe a rugby ball. The
oldest panes have that streaky appearance that 100 year old windows get as the molecules
shift over the years. They have this new stuff now. It’s called plastic, and I hear that it
doesn’t break, but you can still see through it and stuff. I dare not tell them about it. This
is too radical of an idea.
9:30 pm
Make several calls confirming that we were going to play UNC tomorrow, etc. I really am
hopeful of playing tomorrow afternoon.
10:30 pm
Watch 5 day weather report. Fight urge to kill weatherman, then self. Fortunately, because
of my age, none of this brain weight was enough to keep me from falling asleep by 10:35.
Wednesday, February 27, 2002
9:00 am
The temperature is about 9 degrees, but now the wind is blowing. With the wind chill
factored in, that makes it feel exactly suckadelic (my word program informs me
this is not a word, but I don’t care). This is mind altering weather. Even though all the
shovels were left on the field, this was not a morning that was going to get anyone excited
about the "conditioning properties" of snow removal.
9:15 am
The CSU "brasses" pull plug on plan to play game at 3:30. As I look back at it, this was a
mercy killing. This day would be better for finding Polar Bears than for playing anything,
let alone a game with a little white ball.
3:30 pm
Some players work on field clearing effort, and some go indoors to sprain their ankles
playing basketball. It always has to be someone you least want to sprain his ankle.
Murphy is alive and well this week and his law would seem to rule my planet.
4:00 pm
Campus police take issue with our snow removal techniques. Write down my name. The
more we apologized, the more upset he got. How does that work anyway? Here is the
crime: Using a truck to drag a goal full of snow off the field. Will they put us back on
double secret probation? This takes steam out of snow removal efforts.
4:15 pm
"Someone" offers to buy a keg of beer if field is cleared by Friday.
4:16 pm
Snow removal effort takes off again, like a Phoenix, lifted upon the wings of the dream of a
future keg.
4:17 pm
Start worrying about this weekend and Minnesota Duluth. I’m sure when they get here
they will feel right at home and all, but where will we play them?
9:45 pm
Some rapper wearing a platinum blond wig performs at Grammy’s. Within minutes, they
gave him one (Grammy). Man, things do change in a lifetime. They weren’t giving
Grammy’s to Jimi Hendrix or the Doors as I recall. Hef was sitting in the front
flanked by 30 blondes, most likely the last 30 playmates du jour. I wonder if anyone else
finds this as wonderful and timeless as I.
10:30 pm
Weatherman has revised forecast to bring in even worse storm than they thought. The
storm of the year they say. I still hate him, perhaps even more.
11:35 pm
I fall asleep counting Santa Barbara condos, wishing I still had mine.
Thursday, February 28, 2002
I spent most of this morning on the phone to referees, facility managers and the Coach from Minnesota Duluth talking about and chasing down "alternative" sites where we might play games in Colorado this weekend.
As much as I hated to, I gave UMD as many reasons as I possibly could for them to get off the bus and not make the 16 hour trip out here for a weekend with very little promise. I offered up as many scenarios as I could. The options for playing the game were buried under an avalanche of possibilities that would prevent lacrosse from happening. I would have jumped off that bus, happily eaten the $100 bus deposit, and then just gone home to think of new passages to describe how much I hate the weather. They chose to stay on the bus, because this kind of trip means a lot to an up-and-coming program like UMD. It means a lot to us, because I want top 25 teams to look to travel here to Fort Collins and Boulder to play 2 quality opponents on a given road trip. I don’t want to always have to travel to play a highly ranked team other than CU, and, every other year, BYU. As they left Minneapolis the UMD team had a promise from me that if they did come out that we would make a "supreme effort" to play them somewhere, somehow.
We were supposed to play a home game vs. Boomerang/ Galyon’s Men’s Club Saturday,, but the referee assignor informed me early today that we would be unable to get refs for that game. Coupled with the "impending doom" storm that was moving slowly southward, toward us, the Saturday game became history before it became fact. This game will likely never be played, as our weekends fill up from here on out.
We actually had an upbeat, fun practice. We only had about half of a field to really use, but we were outside, and the impending Arctic Express was not due for another couple hours. We had Jason leading a small snow project, clearing off a few piles of snow. Others faced off or got worked on by Dr. Ron, our team chiropractor. We somehow have managed to get pretty beat up after only 3 games. I was running some drills, especially the Shirt Drill, a rotating 6 on 6 "game" that we play. To say this was an informal type of practice would be an understatement, but uniformity was never that important to me anyway. At least they got to play a little and run some, too.
As I got home it was getting dark, and snow flakes were beginning to get organized. Within an hour our Malamute was pressed against the door, a cone of snow atop his pathetic over-sized head. I think I have a pretty good idea of what "tomorrow will bring".
Friday, March 1, 2002
In like a lion you say? More like Godzilla, the storm.
The saga continues:
Developments during the night caused the UMD Bulldogs to turn the bus around and head on back to Duluth. I think the bus driver had a personal mutiny. The highway could well be closed somewhere between here and there anyway. This change of direction was a relief to me. It did not make me dilemma free, but the fate of this weekend’s games had been decided and I would face no more decisions concerning what to do about them.
When the snow finally began to taper a little by mid-morning, there was about a foot on the ground, and drifts in some places that I could barely drive my Tundra through. I say "Uncle" to you, Mother Nature. I will not put shovel to snow again. The "old field house" is starting to look like the Superdome to me. Sunday and Tuesday night in there could be all we have to get ready for our San Diego adventure. We leave Thursday, meaning that even if it got up to 80 tomorrow, we could still only have 3 outdoor practices between now and then. That is not going to happen anyway. We will be very fortunate to have one or two. We will need to draw on muscle memory as a team. Either way, it is never just a "pick-up game" when we play. I have faith in our ability to perform next week in spite of all this…
One of the hardest things for me to do this week was working on the process to use the turf field at Denver University as a back-up location. Last year they allowed us to play a game there (I wanted to get some work on artificial surface before the Michigan trip), and they had been wonderful, sending me confirmation within hours for the time requested. And charging us nary a dime. Apparently there is a new regime. They are now renting for $65 an hour. They need insurance waivers, but they won’t let us sign individual waivers. Catch 22 it would seem.
So anyway, there I am, trying to massage the situation and beg people at DU to help us out. This was not easy, as I have been pretty much a DU hater since they laughed at me and my team at CC when I was a freshman, and they were pummeling us with all their skilled box players from Canada. We were pathetic to be sure, and they were good, but I never forgot it anyway. A week later we almost dropped down to the dreaded "club" status. We had players that played in boxer shorts instead of jocks. Some were "toking" between shifts in the game. Our coach Doc was a dear old man, but commanded no respect from his players. However, there was a handful of us that refused to let CC varsity lacrosse go the way of dinosaurs as well as fraternities during the mid 70’s. That day when we almost went club was the day when I decided that I did not like being one of the worst players on the worst team I had ever been on, and resolved that things would change.
I come by my hate for DU naturally, because when I first got to college I thought they were the DU Sucks and not the DU Pioneers, because when you are at CC, the letters DU are always followed by the word "sucks"
Perhaps one of my sweetest moments as a college lacrosse player at CC was not playing, but rather sitting on the bench after my work for the day was done. It was a lovely April afternoon, and for the entire 4th quarter of one of my final college games I just sat there, basking in the warmth of an 18-4 Colorado College victory over our rival DU in Denver. I did not laugh. The smile on my face was more than enough. I have never been big on humiliating an opponent. That is not what competition is about for me.
My big brother Steve would have turned 55 today. Hey, bro.
Sunday, March 3, 2002
Most of the team came over last night to eat, have a beer, and watch #4 Michigan take on #3 BYU in Provo on Dish (BYU) TV. With entourage in tow, we must have had a group of about 60 at the house at one point. This was a good game for us to see as we play both teams over the next month. BYU won 12-9. But the game was truly not that close. Michigan fell behind 7-1 early on, and the Wolverines spent the rest of the night chasing the Cougars without much hope of catching them.
We all would have preferred if we had spent the afternoon together, too. Playing Boomerang Men’s Club would have been the ideal afternoon activity, but at least we were together somewhere on this frigid first Saturday in March. Perhaps I put too much value on simply getting together, but we are a team that gets along very well, and that has to be a good thing.
Tonight and Tuesday night in the field house are looking a lot like the only chances to "play" before we leave Thursday for San Diego. There is still a foot or more of snow on the ground, and temperatures are still well below melting, so outside is doubtful.
Monday, March 4, 2002
Injuries and lack of practice have me concerned. The thing is that there is absolutely nothing active to be done about either problem. Injuries have to heal, and we don’t have many options for practice. We had perhaps our best field house practice ever inside the field house last night. Today, Monday, captains led them on a fast paced long run around the campus. Tomorrow night we have one more practice inside before we leave for California. Wednesday could be practice in a parking lot on campus somewhere. I can’t even remember the last full field scrimmage we had, and it looks like Stanford will be our next one on Friday night.
I have to remain philosophical, and just do the best that I can with what little I have in terms of game preparation options. We have been together a lot, but not playing enough to suit any of us. We have an incredible challenge and opportunity this weekend. We play 2 top five teams 18 hours apart. We play three real full-length games in less than 48 hours. This will be an endurance exam, and because we have had little chance to study, we must rely on memory for the "right" answers. I have faith, and I also have a little trepidation.
A few of us took a "walk through" at Hughes Stadium today with the CSU "facility management group". Questions were asked and answered. We will play BYU there in less than three weeks. If this goes well, it should pave the way for other "club sports" games to take place there. I have no doubt that we can do a good job with this event. It’s some of our "enthusiastic" fans that I worry about a little. I just want to get enough fans there, and I want us to put on a good show by playing great.
It is always impressive to walk into a place this size (stadiums), and they are always a little eerie or somehow haunting when empty. It’s like if you listen hard enough, you can almost hear the distant echoes of thousands of cheering fans. We live in a society obsessed with equality. Yet, the home team’s locker room, wherever I have been in my "sporting life", universally remains far nicer than that of the visitors.
Wednesday, March 6, 2002
Last night’s indoor practice was probably the most "outdoor-like" practice we have had in there. Like I have said, it feels like The "dome" to me now. Not another disparaging word will be uttered concerning the vintage field house. It has become more than just a snack between practices. It has become our staple diet, and we are on a strict ration on top of it all. Hopefully, our ravenousness will manifest itself in a very positive team way when we finally see grass to "eat" when we get to the Golden State. It’s as if we will be emerging from hibernation, hungry and a bit grumpy, but happy to be awake.
A large part of my message to them right now is to bond, and point all their energy toward this short 3-pack of games, because after that we will be apart again for another week before coming home to play BYU in a most important league "clash" 5 days later. That short turn around/preparation time had me worried way before thoughts of bad weather even entered my mind.
We need to relish and savor these short moments on the game field like we never have before. They are precious moments.
Here is a sentence that I have said several times lately: "You have the rest of your life to snowboard". This most intense moment of playing in a powerful team dynamic will be gone in what seems like an instant. Young people (I did too) just assume that you go on being young forever. As I see it, my job is to get them to see the urgency of a given moment, and to love the challenge it brings..
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So much for my theory on how our full field scrimmages would really help us get the competitive edge. We’ve had way more non-lacrosse related injuries and non-practices due to weather than we’ve had full field scrimmages lately. Just the same, my attitude wavers not. We will just press on. No whining allowed. We will look elsewhere to find excellence. I want us to be problem solvers anyway. That is where true grit builds itself into true character. Every time I wanted to change drills last night, they wanted to do more of the one we were doing. They are so hungry to play.
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The extra man unit has always intrigued me as a fascinating dynamic. This year more than any other is revealing to me both the power and the fragility of this unit. This group of about 8 (6 spots play at one time) has a powerful feel for one another, and at times it is thrilling to just watch them execute. However, if one of the group has something else on his mind or whatever, then this EMO unit sometimes crashes like a house of cards. This was the case last night, and I just called it off, rather than continuing something I knew would give us nothing. At first they couldn’t believe that I wanted to stop, but they basically accept the fact that I am a little weird and temperamental. It really was a good practice, though, and I was happy. We are as ready as we can be under the circumstances. I believe this team has greatness in it, and greatness to show. A few snowy roadblocks can not keep us from whatever appointment we may have with destiny.
Thursday, March 7, 2002
Getting 50 people out of Fort Collins, to the airport, and on a plane is difficult under the best of circumstances. With no budget and a "staff' that is pretty much the same demographic as the players, it becomes pretty much a stress fest for me that doesn't stop until we are all safely gathered at the hotel. With only a few "glitches" to keep me on the emotional roller coaster we arrived safe and sound in San Diego. A few things always set off my "alarm", like when I look at my cell phone and see Harper's phone number on the caller ID, but then, when I answer the voice I hear is Plonkey's. This can never be, "Hey Coach, just calling to say I'll be there on time, and there are no problems". I don't get those calls.
We do have a travel secretary (CB), and a treasurer (Andrea) that travels with us now, and these things help a lot. Yes, it would be nice to have a bus they all get on at school that takes us to the jetway., but we muttle along.
They had to take a couple thousand pounds off the plane before we could take off on our UAL non-stop from Denver to San Diego today. I'm sure that we were overweight because of me. While I was systematically packing everything that a team of 40 could possibly need yesterday I wondered how the plane would actually get off the ground with all this stuff. They informed us that the weight would be removed from the plane in the form of U.S. Mail. So that's why it's so slow. I never knew what they meant with all that second class, third class stuff. Now I know that it refers to how quickly you get tossed out the door, not the method of travel.
There is much "spring break excitement" in the air. I remain confident that they will remember that it doesn't really start until Monday. The plan was to get settled and then find a patch of grass so we could throw the ball around and pick up a few ground balls off the actual ground instead of a floor, something we can only vaguely remember doing. The reality was the old song, "It never rains in Southern California, but when it rains, man it pours", and we got here at the moment of pours. So much for lacrosse tonight. My guess is that it might be tough to find any grass very close to where we are staying on Hotel Circle anyway. I'm pretty sure that me and a few freshmen were the only ones interested in having this "practice", anyway.
After everyone got settled in, we had a team meeting followed by dinner at Chevy's. We will practice at 10:00 tomorrow morning up at UCSD, and then we have all afternoon and some of the evening to kill. It is the down time that sometimes is the hardest on the road.
After we got back from dinner, some came to ask "permission" to "go to the beach". I'm a softy and of course said yes with a "Be home by..." My plan was to do a bed check, but the only bed I ended up checking was the one I fell asleep on watching the third overtime of UNM vs. UNLV in college hoops. Who won that, anyway? Great game, but I think they have stretched "March Madness" to death. The NCAA basketball tournament isn't quite as compelling with all the league tournaments before hand and the 75 bids with only 4 teams that have a chance to win.. In some ways individual leagues no longer serve the same purpose in athletics as they once did, and seem to me almost antiquated in a way. I want very much to win our own RMILL league, but it is completely secondary to what I consider the big picture. Someone from our league has won the USLIA national championship the last three times, and each time did not win their own league (us twice).
Friday, March 8, 2002
5:00 pm PST
We had a very mixed bag kind of a practice this morning. It was not particularly sharp and we are hardly completely healthy. Whether we are ready or not, we play in 3 hours. I can honestly sit here and say I have no idea how we will play. I'm getting clear on who might not be ready physically, and at least one starter won't start tonight, while a couple of others are on a see how it goes itinerary for the game journey. I hope we look okay conditioning-wise. I have very little sense of that right now. It's hard to know if we are game ready without so much as a real scrimmage recently, let alone a game. All I can say is that the more that is unknown, the more I feel excitement and anticipation as I approach game time.
Time for me to start MY pre-game. I have spent much of the afternoon talking to individuals and small groups, going over the points of emphasis. I love being able to coach in the hotel environment. I find it very productive, and it frees everyone up when we get to the field. I won't make them sit and listen to a long strategy session or motivational speech in the minutes leading up to the game. We will have already taken care of much of that back at the hotel. Once there on site, theoretically, we just get ready and then play the game without a lot of last minute baggage thrown in by me. They know their roles.
1:00 am (technically Saturday)
We beat Stanford tonight, 13-7. We went up 6-1, and it was 7-2 at the half. The Cardinal made a run and cut it to 8-5 before we scored 5 straight to go up 13-5 early in the 4th quarter, and put the game away.
Thoughts and observations on the game:
We shot ourselves in the foot a lot tonight, or maybe it was foot in mouth disease, but either way we had way too many penalties, particularly of the get one with body, add another with mouth variety. We had 2 extra man opportunities. They must have had 12. This is very painful for the coach who preaches about penalties every day.
We got penalties for every hit we made. They will not let us be physical here, that is clear. I don't even care about the "illegal body checks" I saw tonight. I thought we hit pretty well and pretty clean. We knew it was a "point of emphasis", because the refs said it would be before the game. We play body. Speaking of body, we got penalties for the body language of a player on the sideline. I thought you at least had to say something. Having said all that, I make no excuses for our behavior. It was absolutely not the best.
Neither our clear, nor our overall play in the third quarter was that great. We must improve both. My halftime is not good enough yet. I must get better.
In spite of it all, and even though Stanford made a run to cut it to 3 in the third, the CSU defense dictated the tempo of the game for the majority of the game.
* Alex looked great in warm up. At times he was spectacular. The defense was excelent all night, and huge in the penalty kill department. I give an assist to Matt Smith, who is at home, but his impact was felt here, tonight. He has really helped with the Man Down unit. Jason gets better at being a quality assistant coach every game as well.
In spite of any rust on or "squeaks" in our motor, we ran hard all night, and for the most part played well. It was fun to see what I perceive to be the best in that Stanford team stand up and challenge us in the second half. They made plays, and cut their mistakes.....for a while. When they finally made a few, we cashed.
* A couple of "kids" really played great on attack tonight, where we are a little banged up.
* This team thrills me and it scares me, but they have no fear. I love to watch us compete. I think I want to dream up a few surprises tonight. It is 13 hours until game time. They (Sonoma) got to relax and watch us all night. Good night.
Saturday, March 9, 2002
After my dinner at In and Out Burger, I "hotel coached" until almost 3:00 am last night. I was awake before 7:00 am. The only way that I can sleep 8 hours is if I go to sleep 8 hours before the time I wake up, because the time I wake up never seems to change. Is this a rule of life when you approach 50? At any rate I am tired today. I'll have to harness some chi (or a nap), or I could be a hurtin' cowboy.
10:00 pm
It is often easy to sit down and write about how the other team put up a good fight and all that, but they were no match for us, and blah, blah. It is not so easy to write today, and say that we were beaten 11-9 by a better team, but that is the truth. They (Sonoma) were determined, resilient, and brought a good game plan as well as their "A" game. I'm not sure what game we brought, but I hope it was not our A game. I say hope because I don't think I have seen us play our A game this year. I can only imagine what it might look like, and that is why I often talk of our potential in such glowing terms. The Cossacks "matched up" with us better than I thought anyone in the USLIA except BYU could. They have a good team and great coaching as well. I congratulate them, and I'm sure they are enjoying this evening way more than I am. For me it's back to the drawing board. For them it's "We're #1", because they will be in the next poll.
We haven't really practiced in almost 3 weeks. We had to play two games way too close together, at least unless the other team would have had to play one last night, too. These are not excuses, because we don't have any, but I cannot beat either the team or myself up for too long about this. It's done, and if anything good happened today, it was that we got a real good look at ourselves in the mirror.
We had a very good and candid meeting when we got back to the hotel. I told them that our effort was there, but that we aren't anywhere near as good as we think (me included) we are. We must start over with new resolve. That does not frighten me. The meeting went on from there. Many people spoke up, and even though we can't change the outcome today, I think we all know we can change the future.
For the record, the officiating was excellent, and they let us play an intense and physical game that looked like real lacrosse instead of a game where 3 people in striped shirts are trying to be too big a part of the game. Referees are necessary, as are in game adjustments of strategy, but it is the kids on the field who do the playing and competing, and today, the stripes let those kids determine how the game was to be played. I admire and respect that, even in defeat.
The game was close from start to finish, but we could never climb over the hump, and I guess that would be the best overview description that I can come up with. We chased them most of the day, and they got most every important ground ball, and they got goals at moments when they really needed one, like just when we were about to get a leg over "the hump" a couple times.
Monday, March 19, 2002
I pretty much took an internet hiatus after the first three days of the trip. I am slowly getting caught up.
When I got back on line there were over a hundred messages in my e-mail box, with only 20 or 30 junk mail ranging from Amazon to XXX. About 15 were cc’s from my family discussing who were the first Jews in my family and general genealogy. I got confused like the heathen that I am. The rest were pretty much lacrosse related. I guess e-mails do reflect your life, although I swear I don’t know how "naughtygirls.com" or whatever finds me.
Spring break may be the death of me yet. We never seem to play well. We went 2 and 1, winning the last game in overtime 8-7 over UCSD. They (UCSD) were a spirited bunch. I started 10 people who never start, and we struggled the whole game to recover and ultimately come back. The "regulars" matriculated in the game as it went on, some not even dressing until after half. Once they were all in they still found it difficult to get on top because UCSD had so much momentum. Although I probably won’t do it for a while (start non-starters), it gave many people an opportunity to, shall we say, "put up". I’m also not saying I won’t ever do something like that again, because I might. I have done things like this that worked out a lot better. When they work, you are a genius, and when they don’t your IQ is considered somewhat lower (senile).
Either way it was somehow perversely fun to watch us struggle and eventually narrowly avoid what might have been considered one of the big upsets in recent USLIA history. As a coach I definitely "lost control" of this one, and by the end I was just praying we would pull it out just like any other fan might. Ultimately we did "refuse to lose", and I think the experience will serve us well somewhere down the line.
I always take spring break as an opportunity to finger our problem spots and reinvent us to some degree or another. This year I felt I needed to not think about it all (lacrosse) for about 5 days, so that is what I did. I trust my instincts when it comes to these kinds of things. Sometimes it is time to be obsessive (for me), and sometimes it is better to let things go a little bit.
I know I said this last year or sometime, but I learned long ago that it is not good to fall in love with individual players. It is much more important (for me) to fall in love with each new team. That is what I am doing now. I must, on the eve of my 50th birthday, somehow come up with fresh concepts to sell. I must become a better coach, and I don’t mean next summer.
My message is that we just need to do the work, every day, day in and day out, regardless of the demon weather patterns we must endure. We were forbidden from using the practice field today. Then we found one a half a mile from campus, but they tracked us down and tried to make us stop. Who are all these "cops" that run around and report our every move? What is their job description? CSU (and probably most state universities) seem to bring out the "republican" in me because there is way too much "government", and not near enough reward for entrepreneurial initiative. No matter what, we must be treated the same as underwater hockey and ultimate frisbee. I believe that university beauraucrats would enjoy lunching with international figure skating judges.
Wednesday, March 20, 2002
The pre-game hype is well underway for this Saturday’s game with BYU. I have been interviewed a couple of times already, and I know many friends and family of the team will be there for our first game at the big stadium. This will be a bit of a "coming out party" for our program, as some university officials will be there to see what this lacrosse stuff is all about. I am hoping that a couple thousand people attend. One of the local bars is running a bus to and from the game. It should be pretty festive all in all, weather permitting, of course.
It’s funny, but as we approach a game, I am often not overly concerned with the other team’s strengths or the "size" of the challenge. I remain humbly obsessed with having good practices, because I believe mightily that you play in games the way you practice in practice. How could you not for the most part? Game preparation is bigger than identifying who we need to stop on the other team, or what should we do against their packed in defense. Scouting and specific preparation is important, of course. Some players are better practice performers than others. Some need a game situation to fully play, but I always try to make practice exciting and fun, and I always strive for a certain "team feeling" going into any game.
I am in trouble with the facilities people at school again for practicing on a field (off campus, but owned by CSU) that we were not "authorized" to practice on. I got my boss in trouble and this upsets me, because he is the only one that really tries to help us, and sees the value of what we do. My thoughts are churning toward, "How can I get my own field that no one can ever throw us off of?" I know there is not a simple answer to this question, but there is a group thinking about building a field facility locally. I think I just decided that I need to get involved with this venture.
Every day has something you never expect, and that seems to be the only thing you can ever be sure of.
Even though we got in trouble, that Monday practice was great. We really needed to work together on a field, any field, even one with little white "cups" all over the field. Apparently this is where the CSU marching band practices. Tuesday, we were back "home", and it was good, too, and we are starting to get a rhythm. We put in a couple of new things this week. I hope there is enough quality practice time for them to get comfortable with these wrinkles.
Thursday, March 21, 2002
Then said a teacher, speak to us of Teaching:
And he said: "No man can reveal to you aught but that which already lies half asleep in the dawning of your knowledge."
From Kahil Gibran The Prophet
I had lost my own way recently; as a teacher, as a coach, and as someone about to be 50 years old. I was a confluence of tangled thoughts and emotions, and not just in terms of lacrosse and the season at hand. In a sense I am sometimes an example of the concept that the peak and the valley are adjacent.
One of the ways this "slump" was manifesting itself was in my writing, or should I say lack of it. Because I wasn’t sure of how I felt about almost everything, it became difficult to express how or what I felt on paper. If I was an actual writer, I guess you could call it "writer’s block".
Anyway, I woke up this morning, and the first thought that came into my head was exactly this: "I think the slump is almost over". This one thought seemed to make my entire day, jam-packed as it was, easier, cleaner, better.
I am one who often forgets that he is getting old until I move my shoulder a certain way or look in the mirror. I think I had a little mid-life crisis. Well, actually, it might have been a little later than mid-life, but who cares.
We have a huge experience planned this Saturday. I want it to be something they (team) never forget. It will be a special moment in the history of the CSU lacrosse program when we set foot on the field at Hughes stadium early Saturday afternoon to play the Cougarmons of BYU.
We are not there yet, but I feel that we are on the threshold of becoming a team, united in spirit, and with a real mission on our collective mind.
PIRATES LIVE!
Saturday, March 23, 2002
It’s Saturday morning, and I write this in between scurrying around, tending to last minute details, checking off items on my various to do lists. I feel confident and nervous, too. You never really know anything, and that is what is so exciting.
I heard the weather described the other day (by a woman on the radio) as "menopausal…hot, cold, cold, hot, hot". It has been radical alright. Well, today looks good enough. They say 70 degrees. Tomorrow it is supposed to snow again. Right now tomorrow is the farthest thing from my mind.
After practice yesterday we went to Hughes stadium to deliver the goals and walk/ toss the ball around. It is soft, thawing tundra, about to emerge from its winter sleep. The Mountain West full color conference logo is faded in the paisley brown, yellow, and green sod. It was very cool to go out, run around, take a few shots, and stretch. The ball doesn’t bounce a lot. Hustle will count for a lot today. It is exciting to think that we are playing in that very hallowed place in 5 hours. We will dress in the same place that CSU football does, and for us this is really something special, too, never having had a home locker room before. I know there won’t be 50,000 people in the stands, but there is a lot of excitement, and I think we will have a great crowd.
We are ready. I have talked to key individuals about their roles. We have discussed and decided on match-ups and certain things that we will use more than others. They seem to have their collective minds and hearts in a good place right now. Most of all, at dinner last night I could really sense our unity, its growth and development. When all is said and done, being a team is about collective hearts, collective minds; family.
I gotta go pack up the wagon. Here we go.
Monday, March 25, 2002
Saturday was a great day for the CSU lacrosse program, even though the result, 17-10 for BYU was far from what I was hoping for. Friends, alumni, and family came from all over the state, and from around the country as well. The crowd at Hughes stadium was large and noisy. It’s incredible that we have gained such a following. We have come a long way from the 2 girlfriends and a dog that we played in front of 5 years ago. I am grateful that the university gave us this opportunity, and, in spite of the less than encouraging outcome, it will be a day I will always remember.
As for the team, we definitely have some problems. One face-off guy quit the team after spring break, and the other one tore his ACL during the game, and will be gone for the season.. Our number one face-off guy right now is a defenseman. This is not an ideal situation. Our defense in general has some serious "holes". Giving up 17 goals in one game is basically my worst nightmare realized. I don’t even want us to give up 17 goals in two games. We were not nearly physical enough. After scoring goals, the BYU players were raising their arms in celebration instead of the preferred picking themselves up off the ground. We have to make people pay a price for shooting on our goal, and we are not doing that at all right now.
Our offense certainly had opportunities, but we just couldn’t seem to finish our most important chances to score. We had 6 more shots than the Cougars for the game, but we didn’t keep constant pressure on the goal. Often it was only one shot on a possession. We didn’t back up the goal the way we need to. We missed the goal from in close way too many times. I give BYU credit. They played a solid, practically error free game, not giving us many chances to capitalize on their mistakes. Every time we did score a big goal, they answered. We got a huge goal with about 12 seconds left in the first half to get within 9-8, but then we let one in off the next face-off, and it was 10-8 at half.
I felt like we were close to getting on top of the game anyway at halftime, and I did not rant and rave during the break, but rather tried to address the issues which would help us in the second half. We came out and tied the game at 10 very early in the third quarter, but we never scored again. Two goals in a half is not going to get it done.
Somehow I sense right now that we are playing not to lose instead of just going for it, letting it all hang out, showing no fear. We are not picking up the slack for one another. Our slides are there a lot, but they are not disruptive to the other team. We have way too many middies who want to play offense, and only a couple who really understand the importance of team defense. You really have to want to play defense to be good at it.
When I look at myself I wonder if I am bringing enough passion to the proceedings. It feels like I am spending too much time on "social issues" and keeping players happy and things like that. It’s frustrating, because I need to feed off their energy also, and right now I am hungry.
After the game many people went to Sullivans for burgers and brews and stuff with alumni, friends, and family. I felt like the Godfather, sitting there as people came to me one by one to throw in their two cents about why we lost, and what we need to do, etc. When you win, you are the wizard, the genius. When you lose, everyone pretty much has an answer for you. That’s part of coaching, though not the part I like the best. The part I like the best is practice, when people work hard at putting the pieces together. This team needs to get to work if we hope to improve enough to achieve our goals in this season that seems to be Murphy’s season so far. We can turn it around, but it will have to be a collective and total effort. I refuse to blame our fall from grace on anyone or anything. We just have to get mad, mean, and work. It’s all about the work.
Tuesday, March 26, 2002
Monday brought me a new surprise. Alex the goalie had x-rays, and it turns out he broke a finger on his left hand during the game with BYU. This season is hauntingly similar to some things that happened in 2000. Can you say, De ja vu? He will be out from 2 to 6 weeks. Monday afternoon one of our best Long Sticks rolled his ankle pretty severely. When the ankle happened I wondered out loud, "What did I do to deserve all this?" I watched the trainers carry Joe to the car. This was not a good sign. Then I just pushed on. Mush, you huskies.
We needed to practice, and although we didn’t do much conditioning work per say, we walked through a lot of defensive situations, and focused on drills that addressed things we aren’t doing well (shooting and defensive footwork). I needed wipers for my specs as the snow landed, melted, and ran down my face. There was only a little bit of snow cover, but I couldn’t see a white ball two feet away from my foot. Fortunately for me others had the same problem. As I ran snowballs gathered under my feet, making me taller as well as wet. Interesting conditions to say the least. We had fun anyway. The coaches did a lot of teaching today.
Today is gorgeous, and we approach a fast and furious part of the schedule, with a make-up game Thursday vs. Northern Colorado, a road game at CC (alma mater) Saturday, and a game with DU club team in Denver on Monday night. A week from Thursday we leave for three big games in Michigan. That works out to 6 games in 10 days, an endurance test for us at a time when we are not that healthy. I guess we will see what we are really made of now.
I am desperately looking for defensive chemistry and offensive execution. I am not afraid to try anything in order to get them.