Sunday, August 1, 2010

LOVE, LOV E ME (I) DO

Yesterday I was much more than HONORED to be an invited guest at the Mike Hamm wedding, where Vanessa and Hammy did the “I do” thing in a very upbeat yet time honored and traditional way.  Before I go on at all, though, I must commend the couple on some of the logistical greatnesses of the event.  The ceremony took place at the Trinity United Methodist Church, a grand old edifice in downtown Denver. The church’s architectural setting would satisfy even the most discriminating traditionalist with its giant pipe organ and hand carved curved mullions inside the stained glass windows that showered late afternoon light upon the pulpit.  I mention this only because I also would not have been surprised even a little bit if Mike Hamm had gotten himself married next to a river somewhere or at Sullivan’s (bar and grill near CSU that no longer exists) for that matter.  Mike has always marched to the beat of shall we say a little bit different drummer.

DOWNTOWN (Petula Clark)

The ceremony was neither small nor large or the least bit gaudy.  The ‘family’ atmosphere was seemingly built and calculated right into those moderate numbers in attendance, It was big, but it was not.

For the reception, one needed only to cross correctly at the stop light on the corner of the cathedral and 'voila’ The Brown Palace Hotel lobby became just a few steps and a simple push through the glass revolving door which opened into the beautifully appointed lobby area.   The late afternoon was soothing.  There was no hustle, no personal bustle or oppressive mid-summer temperatures begging to hear the question, “Where else would I rather be?” Pretty much there was nowhere else one might have rather been.  It was a good place to be and it was stress free.  Anyway, it was a most pleasant very short 30-second walk from alter to alcohol, with ample ‘quiet’ time to help one get comfortable in and enjoy being in the concrete jungle.

SAY CHEESE

While the lengthy wedding party picture taking was going on back at the church, a full-blown cocktail party erupted amongst the rest of us in the cozy confines outside the banquet room where the eating and ultimately the dancing would later take place.  The photo interlude gave the guests the time and a place to ‘get comfortable’ with their Upper East Side surroundings. I think these people (Brown Palace Hotel) have done this sort of thing before.

RECONNECTING

There was good representation for CSU lacrosse spanning the turn of the century through the first half of this decade.  There were only a handful of the laxers, but the cross section revealed many layers of the CSU lacrosse family.  The first person I saw was Nick (Stanitz) Harper (A – 2005) who was our first person then, too.  He was a star, but also our face and image, too. Beneath his good looking exterior he was a tough kid.  In many ways that’s who we were during that period, although I think he stands alone in the charming, single guy at weddings thing.

There were two sets of brothers that had played at CSU as well. The groom was one, and he has a twin, Matt, that played for us as well, although I defy anyone to find two more different twins. They did both play midfield and they both graduated in 2002. Being with them really brought to mind a couple of things that demonstrate what great teammates they were in our team family, a true band of brothers.  Mike was great as a player because he knew just how to help the team in the best possible way.  He could score two or three goals in a game and literally play a total of five minutes and touch the ball for less than five seconds for the whole game, whatever time it took to get it from Napi (A – 2002) to the back of the net.  He was uncanny and efficient, and a bit sneaky, too, but what I think about is things like the fact that he never let me, the family ‘preacher’ forget what family was.  A practice session never came and went without me getting a hug from this Teddy Bear, not ever.  It was a joy to motivate him because he loved the team so much and at times when we would be getting ready to play a game the next day or whatever, I would look at him and he just looked like he was about to explode from excitement.  He alone could make me feel like I was Knute Rockne or Vince Lombardi.

BROTHER MATT

I have another story about the best man, twin Matt, that I’ve told a million times, but I think it is worth telling one more as this first decade of the 21^st century begins to fade into the all new Facebook and Twitter age. When I say that Matt loved the team like no other I really am not kidding.  Matt played four years and probably never missed one practice.  He tried as hard and improved a lot, but the truth be known he did not play many important minutes in big games in those 4 years.  In 2001 we had a great team.  I had only the highest expectations for this team. I never felt as strongly that we would win a national championship.  I felt it so strongly that I began to write this on-line journal that very year because I wanted to document the season.  I suppose that is a somewhat arrogant approachI had always done journals as a coach, but this was the first time I typed it and posted on line and all that.  Anyway, things went along beautifully on our path.  Well, except for that disaster in Durango when we blew a big lead in the RMLC final and lost to BYU.  Steve Austin (yes, old people, Steve Austin) led a Cougar comeback that practically was worth $6 million.  Perhaps everything does happen for a reason and a few short weeks later we exacted our ‘revenge’ when we met and beat them in St. Louis in a National semi-final, which was probably the best game I have ever been a part of.  I knew that semi-final was THE game.  Whoever we would play the next day, and it turned out to be Stanford, could not beat us.  So we had this rare and wonderful opportunity to blow out someone in the final (16-7) and there was no drama.  As a coach the game was just there to enjoy.  Our team was the best and it was playing at its best. 

WHO CAN FORGET THE “HATER’S REVENGE TOUR?”

At that time other teams were just beginning to hate us and that passion did grow rather quickly.  All the teams at the national championships were in the stands that day so the crowd was a good one.  Somewhere early in the fourth quarter a chant began to build in the stands behind me.  “Thirty, Thirty, THIRTY”, and I’m like, what is this?  As it turned out they were chanting Matt’s number, as in he had been rooting us on in such a big way, running up and down the sidelines behind the bench, that everyone in the crowd wanted me to put him in the game, which of course I immediately did.  That was such a cool thing and it stands as one of those defining, unforgettable family moments.

TRUTH – THERE ARE NO DEGREES OF SEPERATION

Doug and Scott Priebe were in the Hammy wedding as part of the wedding  and they also played during that time.  Both took and take great pride in what they did with the team, being a big part of us playing in 4 straight Championship games, but what was defining about them and the wedding was that Mama Priebe, Chris, and Papa Priebe, Hank, were guests at the wedding as well.  So our family of lacrosse was so strong that it also spanned generations.  Those two not only supported their sons and them playing lacrosse, but they traveled pretty much everywhere we did and still keep up with the team even now.  My wife, Ada, thought Hank was the team photographer back then because he was always there and always popping off pictures. There have been a lot of parents becoming good friends with other parents over the years.  These are the things that really bring home what family means. 

TOASTED

I know that I am not Ernest Hemmingway, Ken Keysey or Tom Robbins, but I have been recently ‘flatttergasted’ by people who tell me they still, after so much time gone by, begin their computer day with a stop at the ‘Coach’s Journal” bookmark, only to be disappointed by a headline that still reads CSU 10 – Boston College 7.  For those who might still ‘waste’ a little time over there, I dedicate this to you.  I apologize for what they see, because it might just as well say, “Ground Hog Day Gazette”. For some reason I have not adjusted well to the change that took place when what I do on a keyboard gained an every day name, The Blog, and equally true is that what I used to do can never be what I do DO.

I am not really a big public speaker.  I have never grabbed a microphone. They have always been dropped into my hand.  Mostly all the people at the wedding had no clue as to who I might be.  Yet I really wanted to make a public toast to express how much this group represented the values I hold so dearly.  In the end I did my toasting in groups of two or three, and I chickened out on the whole public proclamation which had pushed so hard on my button this night.

It is true.  I did have a not-so-finely tuned mixture of Corona, Margarita and red wine working for me, but not much, and the family flamed feelings I was feeling were in place before I took a sip of anything.

FAMILY FUN

It’s easy to talk about family, and how that dynamic really finds a home on a team and in side the team itself.  We (CSU) do walk around with a bit of an attitude that might make others think that we think we invented the word family as it is applied to the team and its success.  Of course we did not.  At the same time we all believe we took team as family to places where few have tread before.  True or not this is a tremendous source of collective power, that, when used well has almost no limit.

This was my second Hamm wedding, having attended Matt’s several years ago, and being with the two of them reminded me of a couple of things that really bring our family concept home for me.  I coached Mike Hamm for four years and he defined family for me in a couple of ways.  He bought into the whole finding his role concept in many ways, making it extremely easy for me to individually motivate him, but the really great family thing about him was the hug he always gave me at practice every day.  No matter how caught up I may have been in my little coaching world, Hammy, like I said, never left the premises without giving me a hug.  He also never forgot that we were playing a game, and that it was the joy of playing that made it great.  He knew in the same way that I know that the winning and losing will find its own way in a good way more often than not when you are a family.

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