Friday, December 7, 2007

THE SANTA CLAUSE

We had our annual “Christmas” family dinner this past Friday night.  It was a little smaller than the previous year, but the date wasn’t quite as conducive for a larger crowd.  Besides, the smaller number of parents sort of gave me more of a chance to spend quality time.

D, I MEAN C-DAY

My kid George asks me every day if it is almost Christmas.  Everything is relative, right?  So is it almost Christmas yet or not?  To me it will be here all too soon.  To them, three weeks is an eternity…….

DEAR DIARY: I AM VERPLUNKT

I am all out of sorts at the moment over an email war I had with a ‘former’ player’s father that sort of came to a ‘head’  today. Maybe I should have been more gracious.

The player in question was a young man who started playing fall ball, but then decided he really didn’t want to play.  The other day I got an email from his dad sort of asking where the refund was or whatever.  I couldn’t remember where we were with this.  I sent him the following email:

“Dear Name here:

I'm sorry I wasn't aware of the refund he was due.  Did he pay for Las Vegas and not go?  I want to make it right.  I don't recall getting an email on the subject, but that doesn't necessarily mean I didn't get one.”

Signed, Me

As it turned out the boy had paid for Vegas and in my mind we needed to get that money back to him quickly now, so I started that process.  I grant that it had been slow, but we would write a personal check or whatever so we wouldn't have to go through school (longer) channels.

THIS IS WHAT HE WROTE TO ME AFTER THAT

The father stated the following: "I understand that the fees due when he (son) commenced practice included some generic uniform pieces, which he is to retain.  I question whether one or two pairs of shorts can be valued at $200.  Perhaps you can justify, and verify, why nearly 30% of the funds he tendered are to be retained.  If so, please supply that documentation."

MY THOUGHT was: What a lovely fellow this guy must be.

 HE WENT ON TO SAY:

"I realize, and applaud, your inroads with CSU Lax  I played there in the early '70's.  I also appreciate your sacrifice.  Undoubtedly, many players and parents think you can "walk on water".   There are also a significant number that have been unhappy about expending large sums for very little return; and I do believe that your work with CSU Lax has been symbiotic as regards the rock-it pocket."

Exsqueeze me? I just copied and pasted it here.

Let's see, just off the top of my head I personally buy about 1000 lacrosse balls annually for CSU lax at like 1.25 per. Oh, and, no wait, no need to become more contrite, but I'm thinking I could think of quite a few more really fast.

I DO BELIEVE THAT EVERY 'LINK' IN THE FAMILY COUNTS

Very little return?  Is that true?  IF IT IS THEN I GUESS I HAVE WASTED MY LIFE, or at least lived it under mostly false pretenses, and actually I only rise above H2O whenever it is absolutely necessary.

THE PRINCE OF LOGIC

Fatherman went on to say: “Perhaps, you labor under the misapprehension that since he paid, he can "afford it". Consider his refund, minus apparel retained, a portion of your "scholarship largess".  In the alternative, since you accept "all comers" to join the Club,and he was already proficient, look at as money saved  inasmuch as you: 1) did not have to teach him the rudiments of the game, and 2) with his 12 plus years of experience, the club probably derived some value from his presence there.”

Did he really say that the club derived value from the kid's presence? I guess I missed that part of it, but we did have him rated on the depth chart. Any guesses about where he landed on that list? Anyone? Anyone at all... And I'm not sure what largess means either, but I'll look it up. I'm thinking it's not so good.

THEN THE MAN SUMMED IT ALL UP FOR ME

"Because he did practice, and played in one intrasquad game,  I am willing to "split the difference" as it pertains to the additional $200.00, beyond the $500.00 he paid for the Las Vegas trip.  Refund a total of $600, and the matter will be settled."

WOW, he did all this hating for $100.  So I sent him back two hundred today, a personal check no less. I want not one dime of his money.

He went on to tell me what date I needed to get the check in by (Or what exactly would he plan on doing?).

I AM NOT MAN ENOUGH TO TURN THE OTHER CHEEK. I tried, but not for long.

I was hurt. Meanwhile, at the same time I was asking myself if I am all this bad like he says? I sort of lashed back. My first line in my return email was:

Name here:

"Thank you for your most ungracious response. I will write a PERSONAL check for your other $200.  If you don't think Rock-it Pocket puts down plenty to the program and if you think I do any of this for profit, you are so wrong and you know nothing about me and who I am.  I open up my heart and my program to people."  

I might have screwed up with the next part, but it was all getting to be a bit much for me, and I am a “KNOW THE TRUTH” kind of guy. 

Anyway, here is my response to the "getting little return thing". I wrote, and I quote:

"Little return?.  You get out what you put in. Your son hardly came at all.  Don't be angry with me because he decided not to play. He clearly was not good enough to play here, and I'm sure that is why he stopped coming, so for you to say that he added something to my practices or saved me work is almost unbelievable or maybe even funny."  

I know a father does not want to hear something like this, but I’m almost sure it is true that the kid knew he had a really long way to go, too far perhaps for his aspirations, and or but at the same time I have always said that anyone can play for us if he wants to enough. This one didn't want to. That's cool with me.

However, if this father really thinks his son is that good then maybe I am missing the boat a little.

I wrote on, and again I have just pasted it here:

“For me the $250 (actually it is not $200) for fall ball is non-refundable. It has almost nothing to do with 'shorts'.  It is what you pay to "decide" if you want to play lacrosse.   I make that CLEAR the first time we meet as a team, but that does not matter to you, does it?  However, the customer must always be right, so the check is in the mail.”

That is what I wrote to him, but I further believe that the fall ball money in question is like an ante.  It is blood money. Invest or do not play even one minute. Think about it before you do it. I like very much the commitment that comes with investment. It ($250) says we are no joke without me actually cutting people, and oh yeah, it pays for fall ball costs like refs and stuff.  Now I will have to actually post something that says “NO REFUNDS” I guess. The fall practice uniform is their receipt. I know who paid when they stop wearing red or purple or whatever. To me that is a little bit of a sign that they really have 'bought in', at least for fall ball.

I get pressured every year to make cuts early on.  Every year I refuse, but I have to tell you I might be starting to come around, 40 guys with 40 numbers, 1-40.  That’s it.  That's how I started to do it here back in the day, except it was only 35. No waste no risk.  It would shrink the family, but I would also not be stuck with two sets of a #59 uniform (over $100 per color) or whatever that nobody uses, not to mention all the other ordering and logistical challenges that arise pretty much daily with larger groups.

By the way, at the end of my email to the father I said, “Truthfully this is the first 'nasty letter I have gotten in 12 years.  Maybe it is time for me to hang them up.”

I really never have gotten an email like this before.  Even when I forfeited the 2005 season and a real good shot at the National Championship (We were the #1 seed in Minnesota) because I wouldn’t fight the eligibility issue enough for some of the parents, etc. I still got nothing this negative about who and what I stand for.

IMMORTALITY CAN BE YOURS

Boy, what an oh-be-joyful human this guy is. I think we should honor his name by putting it heretofore on top of the list of players we annually cut from now on.

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