Saturday, April 24, 2004

CSU 25 LINDENWOOD (MO) 1

We won 25-1. Not very nice is what one might think. Well, as I have said before, I never tell players not to play hard, but this day went way beyond that for me. I have not been happy with my own state of mind lately. We have had quite an interesting season, playing like 4 good games against teams that can compete with us, and then we have had like 17 blow-outs. This was a season when I wanted to give the chance to any team that wanted a shot at us. We played a lot of games against teams that could not beat us in a month of Sundays within this particular year. I’m sure that makes me sound like a jerk, but by the time I get done here I’ll sound like a bigger one. Know the truth and the truth shall set you free.

IF I HAD A HAMMER….

Anyway, we are still recovering from that spring break/Michigan part of the season. It was a brutal stretch of road. I try not to complain about injuries, and I will not do it in here. They are part of the game. We have, however, accumulated numerous injuries and other problems way outside the lines, and by that I mean personal situations at home and things like that. We also never got any time to rest during the season. I have already determined to give them a spring break with less lacrosse next year. We came back so much more fresh last year and other years when I gave them time off. I guess I had to prove something with this team that I knew I was going to have, the one I had so much future faith in last summer when I made the schedule. This was selfish of me, and I think I knew that even at the time. I wasn’t thinking enough of them, my team. This is not good for a coach to do.

HOW A "FELLA" GOT HIS GROOVE BACK

This morning I had what I like to think was an epiphany while at Sonic, waiting for my 11:00 a.m. green chili cheese burger and sunshine smoothie with no strawberries. I had just had a warm-up session with Pete the goalie, who is starting to look healthy again. I was feeling stimulated and hungry. I had time to kill before the game.

I had not been my coaching self lately, and have been trying to figure out why. Then it hit me like a ton of bricks while I sat there in my Tundra listening to a selection from the Allman Brothers’ "Eat a Peach" album on the radio. This year I got myself tangled up in a web of compassion.. I realized all at once that he (the compassionate one) is not who I am. I have been trying to get us to beat these teams nicely, not hit them so hard, to not give teams more reason to hate us and all that stuff. Well, my revelation this morning was, "Screw it". Why do I care what other teams think of us? They hate us anyway. I have been thinking about outsiders, worrying about their perception of who we are. Meanwhile I have always preached to them (my team) about how it doesn’t matter what others do or think, and that it only matters what we do and how we think. I was being a freakin’ hypocrite.

Today I stopped. To illustrate what I mean, I was verbally abusing the ref (a very good friend of mine) over some stupid rule technicality when the score was 20-0. If the score had been 20-0 last week I might have been thinking about a SECOND green chili cheeseburger at that moment. Trust me, nothing was farther from my mind just then. That’s more like the real me.

We went into the game today with no less than 6 of our "prime timers" either not in the state of Colorado, or here but not dressed to play because of injury. We have been going through the motions as a team lately, too. I have been searching, looking for a way to help us out of the doldrums. Today could have easily been another game day cruise. It will be that way no more. We won 25-1, but something in us changed despite the score, which was meaningless (to me). I have no idea who scored our goals. I do not care. We must have hit 10 pipes with shots in the first half alone. I was much more concerned with the other side of the field, and making sure the ball never got there. Pete (#3) made his only save of his half with 2 seconds left in the first half on the Lions second shot of the entire half. That is what I am talking about. Up 13-0 at the break I went into the sitting huddle and preached more on the virtues of having "no compassion". For once I would not root for the other team to get a goal (I often do in shutout situations), not today. I never took my foot off the pedal. I drove us until the end, and the day felt good to me when it was over. I hadn’t felt satisfied in that particular way in a very long time.

WE DON'T LIKE YOU EITHER

All this personal introsepection came about at least partly because the team recently wanted to order special shirts for St. Louis, which we have never done. We have never had warm-up shirts or team undershirts of any kind. They (team) wanted to put the following on the back of the shirt: "WE DON'T LIKE YOU EITHER." I vetoed that plan, saying that it was not the way I wanted to advertise our "stretch drive". I admitted to them today that maybe I had been wrong, because in many ways that phrase says exactly who we are. I told them that the words will not be on THE shirt, but in my mind they will be on every shirt I wear.

COACH, WHAT WERE YOU THINKING……?

The regular season ended today. The second season begins Friday in Provo when we play the Utah Utes at 4:00 p.m. in the first RMLC semi-final. That game will be followed by BYU vs. C.U. I am not sure how well this type of "first" season has served us, but at any rate I’m far from ready to sit down and analyze it. I figured that out when the reporter asked me after the game what I thought about this season as a whole. I don’t know what I think of this season as a whole because it ain’t over. I’m not big on all that all-star team junk and regular season records, and I didn't know whatever it was I was supposed to say in "coachspeak" at that moment to make me sound grateful, humble, and in charge. I had no good answer, so I made something up. I don’t even remember what I said. My only thoughts on this season are ones concerned with how to extend it.

OTHER THAN POLITICS I AM PRETTY MUCH A REPUBLICAN

I was informed that we had 6 players score a goal who had never scored a college goal before today. Fine, that is the "trickle down" effect of playing well as a team. One might say that a team or a coach can take nothing from beating another team the way we did today, and for the most part I would agree, but not this time. I take much from this game. Once again I am happy, pissed at the world, and ready to hate whoever is standing over there in the other box. I think I will sleep well tonight. Finally, I feel greedy again. I want it all.

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