Sunday, January 4, 2004

WHEN THEY SAID BRAINS, I THOUGHT THEY SAID TRAINS – and I missed mine

Okay, so if I ever run into someone who is feeling like an idiot or that they are somehow not worthy, I have the perfect tale to tell that will make them feel better about themselves right away. 

I am still here in St. Thomas with my family because I guess I don't read so good.   The thing is I have been under the misguided impression that we would fly out today, Sunday, and in my mind we would have been all but home at this very minute.  When I checked the tickets yesterday, however, I realized for the first time that we should have been home already, because the ticket said we fly out of here on the first, which was last Thursday.  Apparently I had taken 01/04 to mean January 4^th.  So, after stressing for a while, and then getting the family running around falling all over one another in a desperate attempt to get on a flight that was already way overbooked anyway, we are simply here until Wednesday, because that is the day with the first flight that has availability.

If all goes well I will get home at about 1:00 a.m. on Thursday, sleep, get up, and fly to Philly the same day.

After fretting all year leading up to this vacation about how much this trip will cost, we will end up staying here for 6 extra day$.  Way to go Ace.

My greatest hope is that I never do something like this with the team.  Also, they (players) better hope I do better job of leading them than I do leading my own life.

WHAT THE (insert 4-letter word here)WERE YOU THINKING?

Many people have lapses from time to time, but they are usually things like locking the keys in the car, which often evokes an empathetic response from bystanders like, "Oh well, that could happen to anyone".  Not me.  When I screw up I don't fool around, and people start inching away from me in case it is contagious.   There might be some sort of a look that says, "What were you thinking?"  Or how about, "Glad to meet you, Dumber.  Where's your better half, Dumb?"   I think he left on the plane last Thursday.

The humiliation du jour today was watching the first half (3-31) of the Denver Broncos vs. Indianapolis Colts Wildcard playoff game in a bar with a Colt fan nearby.  Our cable had been out for days and I had no choice.  I still don't know the final score, but I assume the Colts scored a couple more early on in the second half, and Peyton Manning was taking a sympathetic knee on every snap by the middle of the third quarter.  Ouch.

CASTAWAY – Or – I AM HELL BENT ON DYING POOR

I had much to accept about all this.  First I had to stop beating myself up for letting it happen in the first place.  That might be considered one of my hobbies, beating myself up.

Even though this event showed my potential to overlook some of the obvious facts big time, it actually is a somewhat boring refrain to the same old song.  It is not even the lamest or costliest thing I've done in the last year.  Peak to Peak" (snow shoveling + CSU lax players dying to play last March= big boo boo resulting in BIG $ = I paid) was a nightmare. This is just stranded on a tropical island. The snow shoveling thing was something that happened that I partially missed, but I do admit that right or wrong I was somewhat cognizant of what was going on at the time.  I totally missed this one as it was happening. Fortunately this boo boo will not take the financial toll of the "incident" at Peak to Peak School.  I say that, but what the hell do I know?  I just keep slapping down credit cards as if the bill were going to be sent to someone else.

I apologized profusely to my family. They had been planning their next moves upon arrival back home. They trusted me to get them there.  I had failed them. They took it better than I did.

I became determined to make this all somehow a good thing, and to not torture the family with MY need to get home or whatever, and also to not waste a minute of our time here.  After all, it seems even stupider to treat the whole thing like we are in jail in the Caribbean.  Who knows if I will ever be back here?

I surrendered to the reality of here until Wednesday at some point, and it was like something clicked and in spite of the pile of nuclear paper fallout that is mutating on my desk back at the office along with a broken credit card machine and a few other tiny disasters, it's all good.  I am practicing detachment from my negative emotions.  Mantra for this week is, "This can all be fixed".

I have spent a lot of quality family time here.  That's a good thing. I wish I could store some up, because soon the coaching starts, and there won't be enough of it (family time).

THERE ARE NO MORE VIRGINS

I have been coming here now and again for 35 years because my mom and her husband Bill used to live here. They lived on a boat, which has a free spiritness built right in.  I would have to learn how to mellow out enough to actually reside on an island that can pretty much be covered by car in about twenty minutes.  I love coming down here, but for me it would be hard to live anyplace this limited in its scope without having a personal jet or something.  I guess that's why it's called a vacation destination. 

Like the rest of the earth, this place is not quite as "unspoiled" as it was not that many years ago.  It's a lot easier to get a cheeseburger in paradise than it used to be.

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