Tuesday, March 25, 2003 (or later)

I’M FOREVER BURNING BRIDGES

It hasn’t been the best week for our lacrosse team snow removal crews. A weekend of heart-filled effort brought about more no soup in the home lacrosse field department. I think when I put on the snow removal Chief’s hat I was wearing one hat too many. HEAR ME LORD, I WILL NEVER TOUCH A SNOW SHOVEL AGAIN. Even if asked to do it to serve a higher cause, I will resist the temptation to put palm to shovel. Give me strength.

As it turns out it was almost a miracle that we got the game with Oregon done at UNC the other day. I think I will never schedule another home game. That way, we may never play, but at least it will always be someone else’s problem.

UNFORTUNATELY, WHEN I DON’T COACH I THINK ABOUT STUFF

I was doing that today (thinking), and it dawned on me that many people probably assume that I am atheistic or agnostic when it comes to religious thought. If they know me at all, they already know I am a Heathen. You don’t have to be around me long to hear perhaps somewhat "Non-Christian" thoughts or even swear words from time to time. I never go to church and have no strong, formal religious background. It’s not my family’s fault. We were Episcopalians as kids, and I went to Sunday school and all. Later they (my family) all remembered that we used to be Jews and for many of my relatives it’s been Bar Mitzvahs all around ever since the mid-eighties.

I have been to many churches, but have never felt like I was home while in one. This is my fault, not the fault of any minister, rabbi, congregation, doctrine, or even architecture. I am fascinated by all religions but have never felt like I fit into one specific one. Many times I have wished that I could have.

Having documented everything about how religious I am not, except perhaps how many "Commandments" I have broken, I feel that I have a very strong personal relationship with a power far greater than the thoughts in my own inner sanctum. "They" always talk about having a personal relationship with God. I have a powerful one. I’m sure he is not always happy with me or how I represent his work or even the way I talk to him, but I must crack him up from time to time. I do try to remember every day that I am blessed.

GOD IS NOT AN IMAC

I’m sure this next thought might be considered some kind of Sacrilege, but I don't mean it that way. I probably at times look at my spiritual relationship with God as not un-like my relationship with my Personal Computer. Our connection is constant. It does so much for me, touching every part of my life, and if my relationship with it crashes, I’m screwed. It knows I am not perfect, yet I am forgiven, and most always given a new start by simply pushing the restart button. There is so much more to it that I don’t even slightly get, and yet each day I understand a little more. I am ever humbled by its effect on my life.

I do understand the differences between these different "classes" of relationship and the real importance of each. The thing is that I can pretty much only focus on one thing at a time, and I have this habit of becoming self-absorbed in whatever movie I am currently in.

MY CHURCH IS MOSTLY GREEN

For better or for worse, my ultimate place of worship is most likely a field of dreams where athletes are nourished rather than cows. The sense of spirituality that we all feel when we are playing as a team, as a congregation, is gloriously powerful, capable of phenomenal things. We all know that and feel it on this team. Now if I could just get his cell number, I’d call Moses to see if he parts the snow as well, or if that was just a one time Red Sea thing.

We have two hours tonight in the old field house, and for tonight, that will be our chapel.

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Flip Started Blogging Before it was Cool, Read Over 400 of His Entries Since January 2001
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