Wednesday, February 12, 2003 at 9:00 p.m.

We had every single player out today, as shorts and uniforms and the like were distributed. Most of our custom gear is in. We wait on only a few things, like JERSEYS for example.

We had a standing chalk chat on a semi-pleasant day in a mostly snow-covered area that is somewhat close to our practice field. Later a few tossed the ball around ever so lightly. We (I) talked today about the philosophy of the way we approach certain game situations and why we do the things we do. Today was better than ever, because two of the captains got in there and chalked (actually dry-erased) with me and had some good, very understandable input. Everyone here is interested in being on the same page. You have to be. We started trying to get that mind set on September 9th or whatever.

The great thing from this afternoon was that these 35 guys would rather be together at 3:30 more so than anywhere else, even if it was another field-less day. It says a lot about us. The fact that almost all showed up later on to eat the gruel that is Woody’s Pizza speaks volumes as well, or at least it will in the morning. We love our good buddies and sponsors over at Woody’s who give us that wonderful wood-cooked pizza.

Last week I felt close to despair. Now I feel more than better. It is like I have been overcome with a renewed sense of team worth and team strength, too. Know the truth and the truth will set you free. .I have learned much truth lately. At first I wasn’t ready to learn so much truth all at once, and to be sick too, but I am better now and better for it, too, all in just over a week.

Even without practice I am quietly confident and amazingly calm for a neurotic like me. It is as if the fog of doubt which loomed over last week has burned off, and the hope of the future is now right there in front of me. I have to pull the individual colors of the prism from that big ball of white light, though. I gotta look right at it, or I will never find my own truth. I can’t pretend the light is not there, nor can I cover my eyes. Not ever. For some reason Bruce Springsteen is really working for me lately. Like the Boss said, "Mama told me not to look into the sun………. But Mama…That’s where the fun is".

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